My Offerings

Everyone loves a great wedding and these days a wedding can be anything you want. There are no rules except for a couple of legal pieces that we can talk about when we met.  You have the freedom to express your love, your love story and your commitment to each other in whatever way feels right for you. We can do short and simple or big and bold or anything in between. We can do tears, laughter and even snorting. However, for now, let’s start by meeting and sharing some time, thoughts and intentions to make a ceremony that you and your family and friends will love, cherish and be excited about.

Offerings of Love

Offerings Of Loss

Talking about death is coming out of the closet or should I say coffin. There are sprinklings of a death positive culture appearing and part of this is people are starting to get more death literate. What this means for funerals and the way we are doing them is change is happening. Becoming more death literate as well as the covid epidemic, environmental considerations, the cost and the enormous cohort of baby boomers growing old means people are starting to question the way funerals are done and are now looking at new ways to say goodbye to loved ones.  

We only get one opportunity at a funeral, and I think I speak for everyone when I say that we have all been to funerals that are out-of-touch with the needs, personality and values of a loved one and their family and friends. A ceremony that is crafted well by acknowledging death and celebrating life is integral to the grieving process. The ceremony needs to reflect love, memories, lots of stories, friendships, legacy and connections. It also needs to offer a chance for reflection, mourning and meaning making. I can offer support, guidance and comfort to create a beautiful and meaningful ceremony for you.

Working in the End-of-Life arena has taken me by surprise. A lot of death workers say this work is a calling and I don’t doubt this however for me death came knocking on my door. Now, I don’t mean literally, and I don’t mean I had a brush with death. Death issues came visiting which is quite ironic because I have lived most of my life afraid of the thought of death and kept the topic hidden in a secure double bolted cupboard. However, in this sixth decade death found a way to unlock itself and now it won’t leave me alone and instead of being afraid I found myself initially being cautious but now being curious.

 My curiosity has enabled me to feel a lot more empowered and even excited about mortality and what that could mean. I have spent the last two years learning all I can on death related issues. I attended Zenith Virago Death Walkers Retreat. I started some training with Preparing the Way and with Dr Sarah Kerrs Sacred Death Care Philosophy. There is a movement happening and here in New Zealand Death Cafes are opening everywhere. Death Doulas are in high demand and as I earlier mentioned funerals are having a face lift. However, my biggest nugget has come from being in the presence of women who totally understand the fragility of life. I noticed they have a presence about them that I can only describe as angel like. Xenith describes this beautifully.

“Death is a great teacher. Being courageous enough to explore and embrace death as the natural and sacred end of our lives really enhances the quality and depth of our living.” Zenith Virago

 I am mentioning this to let you know that I will soon be branching into some other offerings that I have become equally passionate about.  Watch this Space.

Offerings of Life

Humans generally don’t like change however there is always change happening and the quicker we learn skills to adapt the easier it becomes to embrace change. We tend to become more resilient and flexible in our approach to life. Our confidence grows and new opportunities come our way.

Transitions in life are different to change. Transitions tend to happen on a deeper and more personal level. When we are in transition you can be guaranteed something BIG is happening in our life and we often need support to ride the wave so to speak. (i.e., adulthood, pregnancy, birth, menopause, illness, retirement.) This used to come in the form of community where our elders supported and mentored us through these major upheavals. Their wisdom and learnings were handed down from generation to generation. Over time this kind of support and learning has been lost and now we are left unanchored and adrift.

Transition tends to have three components: an end, middle and beginning. This may sound back to front but bear with me. The ending signifies a letting go of a way of being, we need to clear out the old to make way for the new. Then we have the middle phase which is called liminal. This word comes from the Latin word, Limen meaning “threshold.” At this stage in the transition, we are between roles, identities, relationships and ways of being. The liminal stage is a place rich with meaning and metaphor, intuition and deep inner wisdom. It’s a time to assess where we’ve been and what we need to move forward. Even though it may feel uncomfortable, unsettling or isolating, it’s a place where the intuition thrives. It’s in this place that we discover what we need to move into the final stage of transition: a new beginning. where we start to emerge, re-invent or transform into a new identity.

Transition brings up a range of emotions anything and everything on the scale from grief to joy. In this turbulent time the most beneficial way I have found to manage these transitions is through ceremony. Ceremony offers a safe space where support, guidance, friendship and love can help to mange whatever is being thrown at you. 

The More You Celebrate In Life The More There Is In Life To Celebrate.